"My fear is for my children, they have addiction from both sides."

"I choose to break the cycle of alcoholism in my family. My fear is for my children. They have addiction from both sides. Their dad was an addict (he overdosed when they were babies) and then I have my history. I tell them the truth so they know."

"I honestly could tell you so much… this is a short version." We continued to chat about her story.

This post focuses on the personal experience of someone whose children come from a long line of addicts on both sides of the family, addicts of both alcohol and drugs. This post is part of our Alcohol Awareness Month (April 2024) series of personal stories.

Her alcohol story

A woman shared her alcohol story with us. She shared about several members of her family that were affected by alcohol and how their story of alcohol has affected hers. 

"My grandpa was an alcoholic… very abusive to his children. One of the children committed suicide. One is in prison serving a life sentence. One was severely manic/bi-polar and on lithium. My mom was also an alcoholic and there was some verbal abuse there when she was drunk… she was not a nice drinker at all."

"My grandma still has guilt til this day about her children’s dad. The trauma never goes away. There was no help back then. My mom spent months in a rehab during my high school years. When she was forty she ran away from home and was missing for a couple of weeks and upon her return she was placed in a psych hospital where she spent a couple of months and was officially diagnosed with bi-polar. While the treatment had worked and she did quit drinking for a while, she did start drinking again towards the end and it caused a lot of friction." Her mom is also no longer alive. 

"My only memory of my grandpa is him living here and saying to me 'Don’t tell your mom I did this'… because he would get drunk and throw a bottle or a glass in the field. He also abused me as well when I was younger."

She continued on and explained that her grandpa is no longer around. "My grandpa was declared dead … he was missing for years and my mom and grandma had to declare him deceased because no one could find him."

"I have...made the choice never to drink alcohol."

"Although the temptation is real sometimes I realize how bad it affects me when my husband who is not a drinker was “teasing” about me getting a drink one day… (He didn’t realize how the joking would affect me at the time) I said you have no idea, an alcoholic and someone who gets drunk are two different things. My dad could drink and he was NOT an alcoholic. My mom was an alcoholic as she would change mentally and grow dependent and hide it and just get downright mean and ugly.

I know I have “addictive” tendencies because I lack self control in certain areas and I have a fear that if I would take one drink I would lack self control… so I choose not to drink for that reason."

"I choose to break the cycle of alcoholism in my family. My fear is for my children. They have addiction from both sides. Their dad was an addict (he overdosed when they were babies) and then I have my history. I tell them the truth so they know."

"I honestly could tell you so much… this is a short version." We continued to chat about her story.

Breaking the cycle: What do you tell your kids?

"I never talk bad about their dad because I want them to remember him for the good but I told them that he took drugs..." She talks to her sons about the real dangers of alcohol addiction and other addiction on a level that they can understand. She is hopeful that they will continue to make good choices, and she will continue to talk about the effects of addiction.

How does this history of alcohol and other abuse affect her now?

"I go to counseling for trauma and am still dealing with the effects of my childhood trauma. Although I have never drank I struggle with co-dependence, depression, anxiety, etc. Medication, prayer, therapy and lots of people who understand… I have an amazing husband who understands."